Stuck

I am stuck. I'm paralyzed, by not knowing where to begin (and by wanting this project to be over before I've even started it). I need to work myself up to get myself working, to get something (anything) accomplished. I know I can do this. I have a great idea. (At least, I think it's a great idea.) But I don't know how to get started.

I told myself I couldn't keep throwing $50 books at this problem (and I can't), but in looking through the information and the various tutorials I could find, I still felt hopelessly lost. So I've turned to Beginning iPhone 3 Development with the hope that I'll find the encouragement and hand-holding I think I still need. (I almost bought iPhone Programming: The Big Nerd Ranch Guide, instead, but it looked far too intimidating.)

Who Said What Now?

I dunno, I don't think I ever used to have to read something twice, or three times (or more) for it to begin to make sense. Maybe that's just the way it works when you get into your 40s.

Transcendental

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, not quite half awake, yet absolutely convinced I could program the TARDIS in Objective-C.

Devour

The past two days have been intense, but tremendously satisfying.

I want to push everything else aside, all of the work that needs to be done, all of the phone calls to be made, bills to be paid — I just want to concentrate on learning. I can't, of course. I get this way when I've discovered something new and compelling, a book or film, or a lover — I want time to stand still, and I want that forever to learn everything, all at once. I want to devour.

Error

If there's anything worse than a book with typographical errors it's a programming book with typographical errors.

Bowl-O-Rama

I really don't want to keep throwing $30 and $40 books at the problem — I can't afford to! — but I still feel as though I don't have a firm enough grasp of the very basic stuff to make the less-very basic stuff less baffling.

(Remember that episode of The Simpsons, where Homer's only hope to keep his dream job at the Bowl-O-Rama is to come up with a plan to increase business? He starts out consulting "Advanced Marketing," the next scene has that book in the trash as he reads "Basic Marketing," and the scene that follows has both books in the trash as he's reading the Dictionary. That's kinda how I feel.)

So this afternoon, I'm reading Objective-C for Absolute Beginners. I also bought iPhone and iPad Apps for Absolute Beginners, which probably wasn't necessary, but better safe than sorry.

Distractible

I can't listen to podcasts while reading this stuff — I can't even listen to music.